Note To Single Guys; Start the Engine, movement is key

This is a tricky assignment. I do not know how to do this without opening myself a similar can of worm. The connection is apparent. I have been asked to write to us following my unsolicited epistle to Single Ladies. ‘It takes two to tangle. If our society will not permit same sex marriage, then the single lady is who she is because a man somewhere has refused to be responsible. Marriage is an ordination of two people. You cannot write to one, and disregard the role of the other’. The obviously concerned lady enthused. She insisted I hide her identity. I have accepted your challenge and I hope you return to comment after reading this.

Congratulations to Single Guys who are tirelessly and passionately walking in the line of purpose. I am not oblivious of your daily struggle. I am just another kind of you. Every step towards the goal of purpose requires deep sacrifice, unfathomable suffering and sometimes self denial. In this land of limited opportunity distributed in the direction of the privilege in an anti-merit system, I congratulate you for still standing. There is scarcely any passion without struggle. I understand while you are bidding time. Nothing is cheap about marriage. Bills don’t wait, emotions conflict and reason don’t prevail usually. Preparation will be key. You need to spend time crawling alone through shadows to truly appreciate what it is to stand in the sun. You decision to fight the wars of many alone is noticeable. If you are not ashamed to think it, you should not be ashamed to say it.

The society has changed from what it used to be. There is no opportunity exclusive to man alone. Gone were those days when education was man’s exclusive preserve, when roles were socially distributed according to gender, when man controls the family economy by default and woman the home front. Today, we are standing shoulder to shoulder. You will be rated on the same scale with her. Several best jobs/position in town are in the hands of females. Our immediate predecessor (senior men) turned the table against us. It was a sabotage of some sort. You are only good for that position in the absence of an equally good lady, because she has extra advantage to give (don’t ask me what). But you must still wed her and train her children to become responsible adults. She will only be expected to support but it is your duty to carry. Do not allow other people’s doubt or opinions keep you from achieving what you can and when you can. You perception is often more accurate than you are willing to believe. They want you to be responsible by getting married but trust me they will be the first to call you irresponsible when you fail to meet up. You are your true judge, please do what is right for you by your estimation.

As the year trudges on, it will be important you set your goals realistically and do enough to walk it to reality. Courage will be require if you desire a different result in this young year. When you find the one committed to you, strong enough to offer you a lift (emotional, physical, spiritual and financial) and ready to dare challenges (of live) with you then stuck to her and do the needful. It is an edge you dare not lose. That way your will survive difficult time and put challenging adversity to flight. The power of two (good heads) working in harmony to achieve a common front is limitless. It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your fear. Alone, you will achieve little but it is better to be alone than in bad company. You must find you in her first (she is your missing ribs). The glamour is unnecessary. It will drain your resources and can affect your calculation going forward. Do what is right for you. There is no standard anywhere. We shape the world we live in and shape our own environs. You are not in competition with anyone. Man is the measure of all things; of things that are and those that are not. You cannot be comfortable without your own approval. Purpose is what ascribed value to things that possessed it; not people’s opinion. It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. But effort and courage are not enough without purpose and direction. Please find these first in you and necessarily in her.

Now that you are sure, this is the time to dry her tears and dare with her. Fear, doubt, and lack of self confidence will push you down the drain and can even kill your happiness. The day ahead is beautiful. Time does not wait for anyone. You have another 51 Saturdays to negotiate this year, call her on phone and agreed on one together. Watch as events unfold. It is a selfish decision to delay her further because she obviously does not have your grace. Biology (and nature) is a destined ideology. It is a little unfair to her gender.

Read Also: Ghanaian Lesbians Share A Kiss At their Wedding

I welcome you the club of prospective husband. When this becomes a reality, kindly show her my message and tell her its played a role in your decision. Gratitude is the soul of the spirit. I have opened my self a similar can of worm. I assure you we will surmount this together. 2018 is a beautiful year for us. I am waiting for your invite. No stopping you.

Adegbola Taiwo © 2018